Sunday, January 17, 2010
Blog Under RECONSTRUCTION
I want to thank everyone who took the time to follow and support my blog. I started blogging as an outlet for me only this blog wasn't for me. Ladies take the time to check out OUR new blog!
Prayer For The Single Mother
Dear God, she seems to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, but to carry it more lightly than I think I would. I see her balancing work and home, money and no money, friends who no longer make time to see her, and I send up a prayer for her.
Her old friends have moved on with their lives, and in truth, she doesn't have much in common with them anymore. She is lonely, loving God. She would like company but doesn't want to make time for new relationships because her waking hours are already full: she is a mother. She walks when gas is too expensive for the car and forgoes new clothes so her child can have shoes.
This is not how her life started out, but circumstances changed from her life of privilege to this life she embraces so fully. Her life is difficult and she seems so tired much of the time, but I am inspired by the love she has for her child.
Give her the strength to put in long hours each day; the courage to face those who dismiss her with blaming and knowing nods; the ability to maintain her loving life at home; and the deepest knowledge in her heart that you love her.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
HAITI NEEDS OUR HELP
If you haven't read about it, seen it in a news segment, or heard about it on the radio, the recent earthquake that hit Haiti on Tuesday with a magnitude of 7.0 is effecting and touching hearts of many around the world, including here in Houston. During the time when this disaster struck many of the children were at school,can you imagine what these poor children were going through. Many of them separated from family and friends, stuck under rubble struggling to survive, others coming face to face with dead bodies lying in the streets, not to mention their own near death experiences; TRAUMATIC!!!!!! The death toll from Haiti's catastrophic earthquake will reach 10s of thousands of people, US Secretary of State Hilliary Clinton, said describing the earthquake as an unimaginable disaster.
Now speaking from a mothers point of view, and I am sure like many of us, some of these mothers are single raising these children alone. I would not want to even begin to imagine what they are going through right now...the children nor the mothers. So you ask... why is it so important that we join together and not only help the mothers and children of Haiti, but the whole country? Let me show you:
I know that we can't bring any children or mothers back, and we can't mend any of the broken hearts, but we can help rebuild this country, starting here and now by providing some relief. I encourage you to donate whatever you can to help this country. After all, what if this was your child in the picture.
Donates and Volunters are needed:
Multi-Ethnic Community Center
9819 Bissonnet Street
Houston, TX 77036
713-271-8988
Now speaking from a mothers point of view, and I am sure like many of us, some of these mothers are single raising these children alone. I would not want to even begin to imagine what they are going through right now...the children nor the mothers. So you ask... why is it so important that we join together and not only help the mothers and children of Haiti, but the whole country? Let me show you:
I know that we can't bring any children or mothers back, and we can't mend any of the broken hearts, but we can help rebuild this country, starting here and now by providing some relief. I encourage you to donate whatever you can to help this country. After all, what if this was your child in the picture.
Donates and Volunters are needed:
Multi-Ethnic Community Center
9819 Bissonnet Street
Houston, TX 77036
713-271-8988
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Single Mothers and The Workplace
It's eight A.M., the children are dressed for school, you've just put on your new suit for the first day of your new job...AND THEN...one of your children gets sick! (Go ahead... laugh; because I am sure like myself some of you have been there). Well, if you are like most single African American mothers, your support system is probably limited, and this morning none of them are available...SO WHAT DO YOU DO? Do you call in...?ON YOUR FIRST DAY or do you give your child some medicine...PRAY...and send her to school anyway. The obvious choice would be to call in and stay at home with your child, but you have bigger fish to fry...eviction notices, repossessions in process, disconnect notices and an empty refrigerator, and so we put our FAITH in God, take our child to school and pray she makes it through the day.
Society makes it seem impossible for we as single mothers to hold down a household and be productive employee's. Ladies I am speaking from experience. In 2000 I graduated from Texas School of Business, Houston, TX with my certificate in medical assisting and was being offered a position with the family practice office that I had interned with. One of the questions during my interview was...As a single mother, what type of support system do you have...WHAT? What did this have to do with my credentials and job performance? The answer...more than you think?
Before you get upset (as I was at the time), put yourself in the employers position without being bias. Next, ask your self, would you be more likely to hire a single woman with no children, or a single mother with children. You, like me know the answer is clear, especially if the person doing the hiring has children.
She explained to me that woman who are single parents must have some sort of support system or else they would always have to be off. It's sad to say that single mothers of children with disabilities are often discriminated against the most. Employers don't realize that although we are single mothers our children still require the same needs as those children in two parents homes (IF NOT MORE). Statistics show that 78% of single mothers are employed and 45% of them work TWO or more jobs. If this doesn't show dedication, I don't know what does.
So what can we do to help each other create support systems for one another within friends? After all ladies, when it's time to go out my girlfriends become your girlfriends and vice versa (you know I right), if we can all party together, then we should be able to support each other for a good cause. I think providing shelter, food, lights, and other necessities for our children is a very good cause. Find out which friends work and which ones don't, find out other friends work schedule, create a sign up list at church or any other organization you maybe a part of sort of like a carpool but for babysitting. Hey if you have to use the internet as a way of finding a support system...DO IT...send messages to friends on facebook, MySpace, whatever networking site you are apart of. Because until all jobs provide onsite daycare, annualised hours contracts-which allows women to take entire weeks off as long as they make up for the hours, WE NEED EACH OTHER!
Society makes it seem impossible for we as single mothers to hold down a household and be productive employee's. Ladies I am speaking from experience. In 2000 I graduated from Texas School of Business, Houston, TX with my certificate in medical assisting and was being offered a position with the family practice office that I had interned with. One of the questions during my interview was...As a single mother, what type of support system do you have...WHAT? What did this have to do with my credentials and job performance? The answer...more than you think?
Before you get upset (as I was at the time), put yourself in the employers position without being bias. Next, ask your self, would you be more likely to hire a single woman with no children, or a single mother with children. You, like me know the answer is clear, especially if the person doing the hiring has children.
She explained to me that woman who are single parents must have some sort of support system or else they would always have to be off. It's sad to say that single mothers of children with disabilities are often discriminated against the most. Employers don't realize that although we are single mothers our children still require the same needs as those children in two parents homes (IF NOT MORE). Statistics show that 78% of single mothers are employed and 45% of them work TWO or more jobs. If this doesn't show dedication, I don't know what does.
So what can we do to help each other create support systems for one another within friends? After all ladies, when it's time to go out my girlfriends become your girlfriends and vice versa (you know I right), if we can all party together, then we should be able to support each other for a good cause. I think providing shelter, food, lights, and other necessities for our children is a very good cause. Find out which friends work and which ones don't, find out other friends work schedule, create a sign up list at church or any other organization you maybe a part of sort of like a carpool but for babysitting. Hey if you have to use the internet as a way of finding a support system...DO IT...send messages to friends on facebook, MySpace, whatever networking site you are apart of. Because until all jobs provide onsite daycare, annualised hours contracts-which allows women to take entire weeks off as long as they make up for the hours, WE NEED EACH OTHER!
Something to think about
A Strong Women vs. A Women of Strength
A strong woman
works out every day to keep her body in
shape...
but
A woman of strength
kneels in prayer to keep her soul in
shape…
A strong woman
isn’t afraid of anything…
Of strength
but
A woman of strength
shows courage in the midst of her fear…
A strong woman
won’t let anyone get the best of her…
but
A women of strength
gives the best of her to everyone…
A strong woman
makes mistakes and avoids the same in
the future…
A woman of strength
realizes life’s mistakes can also be God’s
blessings
and capitalizes on them…
A strong woman
walks sure footedly…
but
A woman of strength
knows God will catch her when she
falls…
A strong woman
wears the look of confidence on her
face…
but
A woman of strength
wears grace…
A strong woman
has faith that she is strong enough for the
journey…
but
A woman of strength
has faith that it is in the journey that she
will become strong…
-Author Unknown-
Deric's Debate: "THE DEATH OF IMPOSSIBLE"
(This Opinion-Editorial appeared in a recent edition of the African-American News and Issues)
By: Deric Muhammad
There once was a stalker named “Impossible.” He followed his prey 24 hours a day; 7 days a week and labored without let-up to make people believe in him. Every time his victims called the police on him they would claim it was just “impossible” to catch him. Every time they tried to shoot him they would say he was “impossible” to hit. He doomed an entire people with the cancer of impossibility.
Then one day a genius decided that he would ignore “impossible”. Since it seemed he couldn’t be killed, arrested, convicted or locked up he decided that the best way to deal with the stalker was to become a stalker, himself. The genius became a 24/7 stalker of thought process called “possibility”. This naturally infuriated impossible and a showdown took place.....
Ladies please visit THE MOVEMENT BLOG with Brother Deric to read the rest of this amazing article.
This Brother is doing amazing things in our community, he is the creator of the must see documentary 'Raising Boys'-tips for the single mother. Please help me in continuing to support his blog along with his thousands of other followers.
(This Opinion-Editorial appeared in a recent edition of the African-American News and Issues)
By: Deric Muhammad
There once was a stalker named “Impossible.” He followed his prey 24 hours a day; 7 days a week and labored without let-up to make people believe in him. Every time his victims called the police on him they would claim it was just “impossible” to catch him. Every time they tried to shoot him they would say he was “impossible” to hit. He doomed an entire people with the cancer of impossibility.
Ladies please visit THE MOVEMENT BLOG with Brother Deric to read the rest of this amazing article.
This Brother is doing amazing things in our community, he is the creator of the must see documentary 'Raising Boys'-tips for the single mother. Please help me in continuing to support his blog along with his thousands of other followers.
Support his blog at http://askbroderic.blogspot.com/
Friday, January 8, 2010
Infidelity: why men cheat | Ebony | Find Articles at BNET
It's NOT your Fault
Okay you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexually attractive, spiritually guided, and maybe even rich. So your man has no reason to cheat right...WRONG. Ladies I want to share this article with you that I found very interesting. Please take the time to read it and stop blaming yourselves... because it has nothing to do with you!
Infidelity: why men cheat Ebony Find Articles at BNET
Okay you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexually attractive, spiritually guided, and maybe even rich. So your man has no reason to cheat right...WRONG. Ladies I want to share this article with you that I found very interesting. Please take the time to read it and stop blaming yourselves... because it has nothing to do with you!
Infidelity: why men cheat Ebony Find Articles at BNET
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
SAFE NOT SORRY
Okay ladies I would like to share some serious information with you all that needs to be HEARD and not IGNORED! According to the Center for Disease Control black men are the leading cause of death among young blacks. Okay not surprised..well you may be the next victim..so listen up. Black women are being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS at a rate of over 20 times that of a white women. The cause being that many of our "brothers" are getting out of jail and spreading this epidemic. The CDC reports that AIDS is the leading cause of death in african american women aged 25-34, the third leading cause for ages 35-44, and the fourth leading cause in ages 45-44. Oh and by the way AIDS is only the eleventh leading cause of death in white women age 25-34..so open your eyes ladies!. If this didnt't grab your attention or you still feel as though you have nothing to worry about..think again!
Remember that heated argument you had with your significant other when he got a little to close for comfort and made you feel threaten...lets talk about it. Homicide at the hands of an african american male for us is the second leading cause in african american women aged 15-24 and the fifth leading cause in ages 25-34. WOW...so not only do we have to worry and be cautious about the men we choose, we must do the same for our young daughters. Among women aged 15-24, homicide accounts for 5% of premature deaths in white females BUT 20% of all premature deaths by black females. Do I have your attention now...okay so whats the solution..simply put..YOU.
Yes I know we all get caught up in that word called L.O.V.E, but we have to be smart, after all, we are very strong and intelligent creatures. We must learn to think first about the consequences of being in love with the wrong person. Don't be afraid to ask your partner to accompany you to the clinic for HIV testing and make sure you wait for the results. Help your partner to understand that it is to protect you both and if he objects...RUN, after all there are more fish in the sea(lol). Secondly, as the commercial states, "WRAPPED IT UP", there are a ton of new condoms avaliable to give you the same pleasures of unprotected sex. We must be smart because we are single mothers who have children that depend on us being there..so ask yourself, is having unprotected sex worth dying for.
Now, lets speak on domestic violence. Never stay in a situation where you feel threaten, love is an emotion, not a physical pain. I don't care what the circumstances or situation is, no man should put his hands on a woman, we are not punching bags or a stress reliever. At the first sign of a temper or a violent fit...pack your bags and LEAVE. You say it's not that easy, I beg to differ. If you have to wait until he's asleep and call the police, do it, they will wait for you to get your things and leave. Wait until he goes to work, call a relative to help and GO! You say, but I have no where to go, again, I beg to differ, even if you have to take your children and go to a shelter..LIFE is always a better option than DEATH, your children depend on you. I have listed sites that can help you in any situation you may be experiencing, so take advantage of them because it's always better to be SAFE THAN SORRY.
Remember that heated argument you had with your significant other when he got a little to close for comfort and made you feel threaten...lets talk about it. Homicide at the hands of an african american male for us is the second leading cause in african american women aged 15-24 and the fifth leading cause in ages 25-34. WOW...so not only do we have to worry and be cautious about the men we choose, we must do the same for our young daughters. Among women aged 15-24, homicide accounts for 5% of premature deaths in white females BUT 20% of all premature deaths by black females. Do I have your attention now...okay so whats the solution..simply put..YOU.
Yes I know we all get caught up in that word called L.O.V.E, but we have to be smart, after all, we are very strong and intelligent creatures. We must learn to think first about the consequences of being in love with the wrong person. Don't be afraid to ask your partner to accompany you to the clinic for HIV testing and make sure you wait for the results. Help your partner to understand that it is to protect you both and if he objects...RUN, after all there are more fish in the sea(lol). Secondly, as the commercial states, "WRAPPED IT UP", there are a ton of new condoms avaliable to give you the same pleasures of unprotected sex. We must be smart because we are single mothers who have children that depend on us being there..so ask yourself, is having unprotected sex worth dying for.
Now, lets speak on domestic violence. Never stay in a situation where you feel threaten, love is an emotion, not a physical pain. I don't care what the circumstances or situation is, no man should put his hands on a woman, we are not punching bags or a stress reliever. At the first sign of a temper or a violent fit...pack your bags and LEAVE. You say it's not that easy, I beg to differ. If you have to wait until he's asleep and call the police, do it, they will wait for you to get your things and leave. Wait until he goes to work, call a relative to help and GO! You say, but I have no where to go, again, I beg to differ, even if you have to take your children and go to a shelter..LIFE is always a better option than DEATH, your children depend on you. I have listed sites that can help you in any situation you may be experiencing, so take advantage of them because it's always better to be SAFE THAN SORRY.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Starting New in 2010
It's 2010 and 2009 is over, yet there is pain that still carries into the new year from past relationships, lost of jobs, lost of homes, and other unfortune circumstances. So how do we cope and make 2010 work for us and reach our goals of excellence as single black women ? We find an outlet, and for me, you are reading it. In order for you to understand why I started this blog, you must first know the history behind my inspiration. For the last nine years I was in a relationship with someone who I thought was not only my lover and the father of my beautiful girls, but my bestfriend as well...boy was I wrong.
This individual came to visit his daughter on this particular day and needed step out for a minute to make a run, but to his surprise the other woman was waiting outside. She knocked on my door and unaware of what was going on I begin to ask questions. The man I was so madly in love with and birth two beautful girls for had been in another relationship... FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS..WOW! I proceeded to hear what she had to say, because it was apparent he was speechless, and the things she said explained a lot of the things I couldn't (and for those of you who have experienced this same pain, you understand) so I knew she was telling the truth. I was in extreme pain and wanted to isolate myself from the world because not only had I lost the love of my life, I lost my bestfriend. So now who was I suppose to talk to about what I was going through, after all he had always been my comforter. My emotions started to get the best of me and were affecting my relationship with my children, so I needed an outlet...and here I am.
I wanted to share my story with other women who have and are experiencing the same pain and to let you know..God is good and he has a better plan in store for us and together we will overcome. I have so much to share with you all and am looking forward to the stories and information you wish to share with me. After all we deserve the world because we are strong, dedicated, and blessed! It's 2010 and we say no more!
This individual came to visit his daughter on this particular day and needed step out for a minute to make a run, but to his surprise the other woman was waiting outside. She knocked on my door and unaware of what was going on I begin to ask questions. The man I was so madly in love with and birth two beautful girls for had been in another relationship... FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS..WOW! I proceeded to hear what she had to say, because it was apparent he was speechless, and the things she said explained a lot of the things I couldn't (and for those of you who have experienced this same pain, you understand) so I knew she was telling the truth. I was in extreme pain and wanted to isolate myself from the world because not only had I lost the love of my life, I lost my bestfriend. So now who was I suppose to talk to about what I was going through, after all he had always been my comforter. My emotions started to get the best of me and were affecting my relationship with my children, so I needed an outlet...and here I am.
I wanted to share my story with other women who have and are experiencing the same pain and to let you know..God is good and he has a better plan in store for us and together we will overcome. I have so much to share with you all and am looking forward to the stories and information you wish to share with me. After all we deserve the world because we are strong, dedicated, and blessed! It's 2010 and we say no more!
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